I'm so exhausted at the moment. These past couple of days have just been a complete blur, I haven't even been doing THAT much but I just seem to feel so tired all the time. James asked if I was 'going mental' the other day because we were talking on the phone and I just randomly hung up without notice and didn't get back to him for around a half hour....wooooops. I just feel so stressed about everything. And I know, I know, what I'm going through now (school, jobs etc) isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things and there's people going through a million times worse things every day...I just still feel a bit bleeeeeeeurgggggghhhh.
On Wednesday I had to fill in all these forms because I have this waiting job thing now at this place near me and man I hate filling in forms. I've been having to do it so much lately, provisional license, bank accounts etc and I'M SICK OF IT. Then Thursday, despite it being a teacher training day, my drama group and I had to get up early and go into school to rehearse for our practical. It turned out to be a complete fail. Lucy had a driving lesson in the middle of the day which disrupted things, Holly and Maisie were completely hung over and ended up literally falling asleep in the middle of rehearsal, Alex wandered off to do work for hours, I had to leave early for my job induction, our teacher didn't turn up to help us until we were all about to leave.....eurgh, it was a fail. Then I had to rush off and get changed into nice clothes and try and look presentable for my induction. It was nice, the manager was really lovely and laid back so that relaxed me a bit. Then later on James and I went to the theatre which in hindsight was a really bad idea. I was falling asleep during the second half, I only went to make notes for my Drama exam and didn't end up doing that cos I was so tired. Again, fail.
Then Friday I just felt like shitttt and didn't do anything for the entire day.
Saturday was a bit more productive, I revised and then went to Ellie's to watch Doctor Who. Now as much as I love Ellie and her house, it is bloody cold there. I had a cold by this point, was sneezing every where and was literally freezing, I ended up going home straight after it'd finished. Then Saturday night was all a complete blur. My Dad kept going on about the clocks changing which worried me completely because I had my first shift the next day and didn't want to be late. I ended up changing my phone time to the complete wrong time and going to sleep later than I should have done and getting up earlier than needed. I also felt sick to my stomach at the prospect of working an 8 hour shift the next day with a bunch of people I'd never met before and no training in waitressing whatsoever. It was a lonnnnnng night ;)
Then lastly yesterday, MA FIRST SHIFT. It went okay, the people are all really lovely and this one guy called Chris was so sweet and helped me and gave me much needed tips on what to do. But it was soooo long, we were all on our feet for around 9 hours with no breaks. We were basically having to serve all these posh people Sunday lunch and then polish loads of cutlery. I was so nervous before serving them, it was ridiculous and it's a lot of hard work. I ached all over last night, I think a job at a supermarket just sitting at the checkouts would suit me a lot better. But I reckon' I will stick at it..the people were so nice which is a bonus and I live so close and the hours are completely flexible...if you don't want to do a shift, you don't have to.
Today I was going to revise for 5 hours, that did notttttt happen. However I did do some and the stuff I revised has gone in and that's what counts right? Sorry this has been so dreadfully complainy and pointless but I hadn't blogged in lonng time and wanted to just write and write and writeeeee.
There's so much to do at the moment, exams are so close and we have to perform our incredibly unrehearsed play for Drama soon...I think what I need to do is just relaxxxxxxxxxxxx...things will get better. I just keep thinking about results day and how good it felt last year when I got good results because I put the work in...that's going to happen this year...yes it is yes it is yes it is...
Everything will be fine.
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